The emergence of the cyborgs
I'm sure you've seen them. I'm speaking of those people walking by with a metallic, silver colored device attached to their ear, and which is usually blinking with a cool, futuristic looking blue LED light. Presumably, the light is to reassure passersby that the human in question is really not the host for a small metallic colored parasite (mind controlling probably, considering many of the infested hosts that I've seen), that lives in the ears of humanoid species. It doesn't fool me at all. Those parasites could have evolved blinking blue lights too. However, I'm told that the package these ear parasites come in are actually labeled with "Bluetooth Headset - NOW WITH BLINKING BLUE LIGHT THAT ANNOYS EVERYONE EXCEPT YOU!"
Now, sure - I can certainly understand using a hands free device when driving or otherwise using your hands... but I don't see why you need to wear a headset constantly, and apparently while not actually expecting it to be used immediately, in the grocery store, in the mall, and other public places. I feel that you have no excuse, unless you work in telemarketing or otherwise have a lot of calls coming in, or you're expecting a priority communication from the Enterprise at any moment, or you're a Navy SEAL and could be assigned, or are assigned, to a covert mission at any moment (HINT: skip the blue LED for that one). Otherwise, I seriously wonder if that unnatural thing in your ear didn't crawl up your pillow and implant itself in your ear while you were sleeping, and you just haven't seen it yet, (and with the mind-control it's likely doing, you would never notice it anyways), so then it makes me think that I should politely inform you of the apparently hostile lifeform that has taken up residence in your ear.
But then, I am informed that Bluetooth headsets are not parasitic lifeforms, (presumably, they've been tested for this), and that people are voluntarily wearing them everywhere, whether they use them or not. This just gives me an odd desire to staple the headset to your ear and turn you into a real cyborg. That would certainly let you get used to it to the point where you don't even notice it ever again. But perhaps you'd rather have your doctor properly implant it for you, instead. Would you like one of those neat eyeballs that do all the targeting and zooming stuff too?
Not too surprisingly, (after allowing time for sufficient retrospection), I find that I am not alone in this opinion. Matt at 37signals also notices how human anatomy precludes the blue LED light from being seen by the wearer, and so its intended purpose MUST be to annoy everyone else. Richard Sheffield has further comments (and he managed to fit in TWO Star Trek references too!). Lastly, if you're someone who wears a Bluetooth headset everywhere for no particular reason, (wow, you managed to read down this far! Congratulations!), then you really need puppets to take you aside and explain things to you. (This is also the obligatory Youtube link too).
WOW-O-WOW-UPDATE: Check this out. Whoa, it gives me geeky shivers. I need to cook up some equipment to hack around with a project like this. It would be a lot of geeky fun, very entertaining, and is probably not too terribly illegal.
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